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A Very Late Good-bye
I having been reading the blogs of an online acquaintance, and feeling pretty bad.
I used to visit two of Shari's blogs fairly often, and comment. I felt like I had to be careful what I said; make sure I didn't say the wrong thing, because of her serious illness and my tendency to put my foot in my mouth.
I admired that she was getting out living her life, planning creative projects, while also giving a detailed explanation of what she had to do each day just to survive. I particularly enjoyed her book reviews, (which were written very well and didn't give anything away).
Then I was offline for a while. Couldn't afford a new computer, or internet. When I moved and was offered free wifi, I was given a tablet that I found awkward on message boards. I wasn't online much, and when I was, I mainly talked to family on facebook.
I realized I didn't actually feel "connected" to anyone on the 'social media' sites, so I came back to message boards, where real conversations occur.
I was very shocked to realize just how long I had been away. I have a brain injury that affects my ability to judge time. (Nearly drowned as a child; needed CPR). I often feel like something happened 1 year ago, when it was more like 4 or 5.
I went back to Shari's blogs and the last entry was in October 2015! I felt terrible. It blew my mind that I had not attempted to see or contact her for over 3 years, and had not even realized it.
And now she is gone.
It is great that they have left her blogs up. They are still an inspiration to everyone, especially those walking in shoes similar to hers. But it made me so sad to see the photos of her smiling face, to remember the comments she made when she posted them, and to wonder if her mother was able to take her cats.
Good-bye Shari. You were an amazing, intelligent, creative and inspiring woman.
10/6/2018, 9:03 pm
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